Tag Archives: Friendship

What it Means to Really Be a Friend to Someone

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

It has always baffled me, how certain people are periodically nudging me to “hang out with them” or “see them more often”; but when I actually do make it out, they don’t really want to talk about anything other than what they are into. In fact, I have some friends, who I’ve known over the years, who ridicule me when I talk about my interests and only support talking about their own interests. This is not a very balanced equation, nor is it very pleasing to take part in.

Indeed, this is not what real friendship is about. A friend is not there just to be seen and not heard or to only speak when spoken to. A real friend should accept and appreciate your uniqueness, even if they don’t agree with all you say. They should feel free to discuss and debate matters of importance instead of trying to change the subject and bury the matter altogether.

Unfortunately, I do not know many of these real friends; but the ones I do know are always there to enjoy a nice in-depth conversation. I could go for months without seeing one of my real friends and still feel the warmth and acceptance as if we had been together only yesterday.

This notion of popularity, so often sought, has never been important to me; primarily because of the shallow nature of such friendships. I’d rather have fewer friends and maybe even considered an outcast by some, than to suppress who I really am to gain acceptance by the many. I don’t care if I rock the boat from time to time; it’s healthy to stir up some shit and unhealthy to simply suppress things and let them fester.

Never suppress who you are to please others. If they can’t handle you being exactly who you are, then who needs ’em.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson