Not Every Problem that Lands in your Lap is Your Fault or Under Your Control

despairx

When I look back on the years, I have created my share of problems, I have had my share of lapses in judgement.  Its inevitable, especially if you more towards the fringe like I am.  It happens to everyone, in all walks of life.

I understand this and I understand that to ‘err is human.  I don’t tend to find much difficulty in dealing with this, because I can, and have, tended to adapt.  I’ll adapt and adjust; but I won’t be dragged along, stepped on and abused.  That’s where I draw the line.  I do this, because I know that people will do this if you don’t push back, at some point; I’ve tried the completely passive approach to no avail.

The trouble tends to be with people who cannot adapt and adjust to reality.  You know, just the very basics of reality and our state of being.  These things like making sure all of your and your family’s basic needs are met, being non violent and living a stable and sustainable life.  These things are difficult and we take them for granted when we have them.  In fact, when we become complacent enough, we fail to realize just how wonderful and rare, having those basics taken care if is.

There are those of us who don’t have the ability to stabilize, to self-regulate or to control the balance between their emotional and rational centers, which actually gets in the way of basic survival and prosperity.  I’m not sure what it is.  It could be from trauma, upbringing, or maybe its just human nature, on some level, to create unnecessary problems and drama.

This is a situation where a problem becomes, not just a problem for the particular person; but also a problem for everyone else as well.  Because when everything’s just going along swimmingly and someone can’t hold it together, it makes it much more likely that things will fall apart for everyone.  This is not fair, at all, to the people who are doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

I find that people who have these imbalances, tend to be destabilized very easily and when they are, they do so in a spectacular fashion and can actually be very destructive.  I know this, in part, because I have gone through my own shit from time to time; but also because I have witnessed many people completely melt down and implode over the years, due to causes that were mostly internal to their self.  It can be extremely destructive, to themselves, their family (if they have one), friends, etc.  Destructive is an understatement; especially in situations where people abandon their families, which happens all the time.

Its a downward spiral.  Its a sort of bipolarity, wherein they perhaps recognize that there is a problem; but seek only to destroy and to change everything; thinking that if they just change enough things, it will somehow solve the core problem.

Its kind of irrational, really, because the main thing that needs to change is the person, in their own mind/body/spirit complex; yet they go about it by trying to change everything around them instead.  Its sort of like having a gunshot wound and instead of getting it looked at, going on a jog in the park.

Don’t even bother trying to say anything about this, though.  Honesty, when it isn’t something that somebody already wants to hear, only causes more problems.

What can ya do?

Well, that’s a tough question.  All I can really come up with is to try not to make it worse, if you can and protect yourself and those you care about; because you never know what can happen.

A melted down and depressed person will take aim at anyone who doesn’t want to play along with their games and will latch onto and have great admiration for, anyone who encourages them to continue doing just what they are doing.  You can take that to the bank.  I have seen it many times.  People in a weak emotional state want to be told lies and not the truth.

Its all about emotional support and distractions, rather than reasoned and honest solutions, rather than striking the root, they hack away at the branches.  I suppose this is why the meltdown ensues and continues; because clearly the coolant has not been injected into the core, which is fueled by out of control emotions, so it does not end up cooling off.

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